Overheard In The Ward

Woman: It’s insane the logistics that go into transferring missionaries.
Sister Missionary #1: That’s why the Lord is involved because it would never work without Him.
Sister Missionary #2: The Lord’s insane. He totally rocks like that.

Overheard by: Charity Never Faileth

Mission president’s wife while crying when giving a talk at zone conference: I’m sorry!
Area Seventy putting his arm around her: It’s okay, we like big boobs.

Overheard by: Mrs. Robinson

Okay, so we get a similar submission almost weekly… all with slight variations. This quote seems to be the mother of all overheards. Whenever we get this submission, we try to quiz the submitter where they heard it. However, no one in the past actually heard it and was passing on folklore. Well, today, we are pleased to announce that it was verified! This is the real one!

Original submission:

“While giving an talk at zone conference, the mission president’s wife could not stop crying long enough to say a single word. After a few minutes of this, an area Seventy got up and put his arm around her.  She apologized saying, “I’m sorry!  I’m such a big boob.”  He responded with, “It’s okay, we like big boobs!”  Then realized what he said!  So much for a spiritual missionary meeting!”

When quizzed for additional details we received the following:

“Yes, the woman giving the talk was my grandma, [name removed], speaking to the Edmonton Canada mission around the year 2000. I don’t know the name of the area Seventy at the time.”

(This is a Make-A-Title. Leave your title suggestion as a comment.)

16-year-old Investigator: Why are all the Mormon missionaries so hot?
YW President: They send the ugly ones on foreign missions.

Overheard by: Wait… I went to Brazil!

Trainer to companion after leaving dinner appointment: So, what did you think of their daughter?
Greenie: Not bad… I’d marry her. What do you think of her?
Trainer: I think she’d make a good concubine.

Overheard by: slurpeefiend

Child after being teased by the Elders: You’re lying!
Sibling: Missionaries don’t tell lies they tell parables.

Overheard by: Fibber McGee

Bishopric Councilor: We’ve just got a call from the missionaries. Apparently they’ve locked themselves out of their car. Does anyone have the skills to break into a car?
16 year old priest: [raises hand.]
Councilor: We would prefer that the person not be a teenager breaking into the missionaries’ car.

Overheard by: The Criminal Mind

4-year-old to missionaries over for dinner:  Hey guess what? My mommy is going to have a new baby! That is when she goes to the doctor and she has a hole in her and the doctor helps pull the baby out of the hole…

Overheard by: La Maze