Overheard In The Ward

Bishop: Our sacrament hymn was chosen by Sister Jones, but she isn’t here today and we don’t know that song, so we’re going to sing something else.

Overheard by: If I Could Hie

Bishopric member at end of testimony meeting: I think we’ve heard enough of your testimonies today.

Overheard by: Bad meeting

High council speaker: Everyone had been talking about Y2K. I didn’t know what Y2K was. I thought it was a new kind of personal lubricant.

Overheard by: Y2KY

Elders quorum president: When you visit those you home teach you want to recognize their spiritual pulse. Do you know what I mean by spiritual pulse? … Wow, I just saw five of you check your pulse.

Overheard by: High Blood Pressure

Bishop, to sister who was sustained: Okay, Sister..you’re in!

Overheard by: Playful Bum Slap

General Authority at Stake Leadership Conference: Can I have a couple of volunteers to guard the doors? I’m going to ask everyone to stand before I get started and I don’t want anyone to get away.

Overheard by: Run!

RS Teacher: Today we are going to talk about President Uchtdorf’s most recent conference talk. I love President Uchtdorf because he is just so easy to listen to.
RS Sister mumbling: He’s pretty easy to look at too.

Overheard by: Rachel