Overheard In The Ward

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Advanced Aged High Priest: These cold metal chairs! My hemorrhoids don’t agree with them too much…
Young Men’s Advisor to an Elder: I could have gone the rest of the day without hearing that.

Overheard by: Brethren, let’s separate for quorum activities

First speaker in the evening Stake Priesthood Meeting: He had just been called as a sealer, and I asked him if would be available on… let’s see, do I remember my son’s anniversary? Do I remember my own anniversary? It’s today! It was my anniversary today!

Overheard by: The Back Row

Sister to the old man walking down the hall: See you later, Brother Davis!
Brother Davis: Thanks for the warning!

Overheard by: Emily

High Priest to 30-something Single Sister he just met: So you’re not married?
Single Sister: No, I’m not. My older sister and I live together.
High Priest: She’s not married either?
Single Sister: Nope.
High Priest: What’s wrong with the women in your family?

Overheard by: Seriously?

Elderly brother: Would the bishopric please be more mindful of adjusting the microphone so that speakers are actually talking into it?
Bishop: Good point. We’ll keep that in mind… especially when you’re speaking in two weeks.

Overheard by: Seanette Blaylock

Elderly man bearing his testimony: The Devil, you know, he’s like an octopus that one… and he’ll get out his testicles …and be after you!

Overheard by: Rachel H.

Aging High Priest: So who’s your beau?
Single twenty-something sister: I don’t have one, thank you.
Aging High Priest: What?! So you are like the Hershey factory? All those people making chocolate, and no one gets to eat any of it!

Overheard by: Willy Wonka