Overheard In The Ward

Sister to the old man walking down the hall: See you later, Brother Davis!
Brother Davis: Thanks for the warning!

Overheard by: Emily

Stake President to overheated EQ Counselor: There are three things that we as members of the Church aren’t ready for yet in this life. First, we’re not ready to receive the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon. Second, we’re not ready to live the Law of Consecration in its fullness. Third, we’re not ready to have the heating and air conditioning in any of our chapels work properly. I hope that by the Millennium the Lord sees fit to grant us proper temperature controls in our buildings… otherwise, it’s going to be a long thousand years.

Overheard by: slurpeefiend

The Elder’s Quorum President giving a talk: As members of the Church, we are often asked to give service on the sperm of the moment.

Overheard by: Mallory

Primary President:  Well, we were going to meet on the stage…
High Priest Group Leader: We’ll move.
Elders Quorum President: Yeah, they can sleep anywhere.

Overheard by: Stephsterr, The YW Prez

Elder: She is totally a Lead Kindly Light kind of girl.
Elder #2: Huh?
Elder: You know… [singing] Lead Thou Me On. 

Overheard by: ChoirFreak

Teacher: Nothing good ever came from drugs.
Man on back row whispers: What about Bob Marley?

Overheard by: Ken

Very Open EQ Teacher: I read an LDS book about intimacy and it says we should give thanks for the gift of intimacy. I’d like to bear my testimony that I know sex is not just for populating the earth. I know this from the last few months doing it with my wife.

Overheard by: Charity Never Faileth