Overheard In The Ward

BYU Coed: If I don’t hear from a guy after two weeks, I assume he got married.

Overheard by: Lisa

A first time dater dad while meeting the young man at the door: Go on honey, tell him what I taught you!
16-year-old on her first date: Mosiah 13:3 – Touch me not, for God shall smite you if ye lay your hands upon me,
Dad: Do you understand the implications of that scripture son?
Young man: Very much sir.
Dad: Dont call me sir, too formal son.
Young man: Sorry ma’am. Er… Sorry, no disrespect bro. Does bro work, sir? Whoops, sorry.
Dad: take my daughter and leave son, you passed.

Overheard by: Handsfree

YSA sunday school teacher: There was a leper. Can somebody quickly tell me what leprosy is?
RM: Leprosy was a disease, and nobody wanted to catch it, but it was very contagious, and very hampering on the skin. It made you have to change clothes every day!

Overheard by: What Is Diarrhea Mouth?

Ysa during the closing prayer for institute choir: We’re thankful for this happy thong.

Overheard by: Throng, Thong… same thing.

BYU girl: But aren’t Mormon girls like that? They are just waiting for some returned missionary to get horny in that gospel sort of way.

Overheard by: Desiree

LDS girl: Have you touched his elbow yet?

Overheard by: Danny

On the back of a 1/4 page flier in the Cougareat:

NEED A HUSBAND?
I’M DESPARATE AND
LOOKING TO SETTLE.
CALL OR TEXT NOW!!!
303-555-9707

Overheard by: Cody