Elders quorum president: When you visit those you home teach you want to recognize their spiritual pulse. Do you know what I mean by spiritual pulse? … Wow, I just saw five of you check your pulse.
Overheard by: High Blood Pressure
Elders
BYU coed #1: Guys. Watch this. I’m gonna smash these boxes. I’m gonna do it for Jimmer. I’m gonna make him proud.
BYU coed #2: Ah! It’s ok if you mess up man. Jimmer’s proud of all his children.
Overheard by: Shelby W.
Sunday school teacher: What are some of the reasons we’re hesitant to talk about our beliefs with others?
Elder: I’m afraid people are going to ask me about my underwear.
Overheard by: Jill-E-B
Two guys singing to Cake’s ‘Short Skirt, Long Jacket’: I want a girl who has a great testimony. I want a girl who always wears modest clothes…
Overheard by: Claire
Elder A at the MTC playing fields: I think I can get it.
Elder B: I think I can? I think I can?? Elder, Nephi said I know I can! Get the freakin’ ball!
Overheard by: Brother S. Young
EQ president: Now, when giving a priesthood blessing, I have heard of instances of putting a drop of olive oil on another part of the body when the head isn’t available… Guys, guys, umm, that’s not what I meant!
Overheard by: Nick S.
Elder announcing a ward activity:We will be having a murder mystery, so if you are on the committee please meet with us to help plan the murder.
Bishop’s wife: Let me get this straight. The bishop just went out of town, so your planning a murder?
Elder: Don’t worry; we’ll start with a prayer.
Overheard by: Gidgiddoni
