Overheard In The Ward

A first time dater dad while meeting the young man at the door: Go on honey, tell him what I taught you!
16-year-old on her first date: Mosiah 13:3 – Touch me not, for God shall smite you if ye lay your hands upon me,
Dad: Do you understand the implications of that scripture son?
Young man: Very much sir.
Dad: Dont call me sir, too formal son.
Young man: Sorry ma’am. Er… Sorry, no disrespect bro. Does bro work, sir? Whoops, sorry.
Dad: take my daughter and leave son, you passed.

Overheard by: Handsfree

Young mother holding screaming child: Sorry, he just figured out he can scream, and he thinks he’s funny. I thought he’d be sleeping through sacrament by now.
Older Sister pointing to sleeping husband: They usually don’t start that ’til they’re forty.

Overheard by: Thomas S

YSA sunday school teacher: There was a leper. Can somebody quickly tell me what leprosy is?
RM: Leprosy was a disease, and nobody wanted to catch it, but it was very contagious, and very hampering on the skin. It made you have to change clothes every day!

Overheard by: What Is Diarrhea Mouth?

Boy talking to mother: Hey, mum? I’ve got a new rule—be allergic to Satan!

Overheard by: Evil Hives

Talk in sacrament meeting: I want to apologize in advance because when I get nervous, my feet get all wet and my mouth gets dry. So, if you see me sticking my foot in my mouth, it just means im nervous.

Overheard by: Hoof Breath

14-year-old brother sitting at computer preparing a talk: How do you cut and paste?
4 year old sister: Scissor and glue.

Overheard by: Paste Eater

Primary child saying prayer: …and we’re thankful for…
Sunbeam: Strawberries?!

Overheard by: Brother Berry