Wife of General Authority upon returning home from mission to Phillippines: While we were there, Elder XYZ* had a mistress…
Congregation: [looks up incredulously] [A kindly meaning ward member taps her on shoulder and whispers in her ear.]
Wife of General Authority: Seamstress, not a mistress….
Congregation: [laughs]
Wife of General Authority: …the seamstress would give Elder XYZ* a kiss on his bald head every day…
Congregation: [constant giggling]
Overheard by: Needle Natalie
Bishop: Brother Johnson*, we would like to extend a call to you to serve as a Sunday school teacher.
Brother Johnson*: I’m sorry bishop… I would, but I have a bad knee.
Overheard by: Major-General Stanley
A recent elderly widower bearing his testimony and thanking people for their support: This must be the best ward to die in.
Overheard by: Chief Casserole Maker
Dramatic mother speaking of her 17 yr old son: He left the hospital bent over and walking like a little old prophet.
Overheard by: Straight as an Iron Rod
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